then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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