i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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