It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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