Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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