I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize