dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
