I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
