wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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