Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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