But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
