There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's blow job season.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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