she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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