I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
