We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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