everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
