Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
