none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
