fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
