goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
