OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
