Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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