you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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