Your tits are I can't wait for
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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