note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
