drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
