Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Two words: nipple clamps
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