im gay
i know
yea but for you.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
