they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
