this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
