oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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