hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
