i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
