He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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