It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
