you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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