If i come over, it means nothing
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize