Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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