either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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