Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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