i don't like sucking hair
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
