So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
