I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
