We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
