Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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