That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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