make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
