if you like me you must not know who I am
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
