Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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