I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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