you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
