How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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