Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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