talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
