Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
