I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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