I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
