He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
