well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
