hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
