i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just had sex bonerless
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
