Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
