Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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