meet me or not, i'm out of control
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
