i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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