I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
