Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
