I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
